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Seventeen
more days and my youngest son Aaron will be here with his wife Sara and
my precious little grandson Tobias. Not even two months old yet. I'm constantly
amazed how very much I love him already and how I relish the thought of
his spending even a few days or weeks here where I can see him in person,
hold him, kiss him and generally spoil him unabashedly. I guess you would
say that I have an irrationally passionate love for this child! He is treasured
beyond belief.
With
Aaron's family living in another state, I miss the constant ability of
expressing my love to this new child in daily, small, countless little
ways of how very much I love him. I do try to call him almost daily and
have his mother or father put the phone up to his ear and then I make high-pitched
oohing and cooing noises telling him how very special he is and asking
him how his day is going.
Do I
really think for one minute that he is actually really going to understand
me and tell me the tough and blessed parts of his day? "Gee Grandma, I
messed up my diapers pretty badly for Mommy and Daddy and then I spit up
all over Aunt Mikey." Or, "Our dog ran up and brought me a beautiful ball
to play with and we had a great time, especially when he licked me all
over my face and my Daddy wiped it all off as soon as it happened."
Oh well,
I guess not, but I'm bound and determined to have him know who his Grandma
Connie is and "get it" really quickly that THIS PERSON on the other end
of the phone loves him unconditionally and unrelentingly.
 One
day when I called, Tobias heard me, turned, looked at the telephone, and
grabbed for it. Aaron said that soon the baby would think that I WAS a
phone. That certainly won't do. I'm going to be writing him often as well,
so that he will have the written word, to be read to him also. I want to
send pictures, books, and other little things to share with Toby the person
that I am, and at the same time, help him to become the person that he
is going to be.
Hopefully,
over the course of a lifetime I will be able to make tapes in his mind
that says: your Grandma Connie loves you, adores you, believes in you,
and is very proud of you. I want him to know that he is very unique and
that NO ONE before him has ever been just like him. I want Tobias to know,
as I always tried to show his father and uncle Michael before him, that
I have an infinite belief in who he is and in his ability to fulfill all
that God has sent him here to do.
Even
without Tobias having knowledge about his coming here in only a few short
weeks, I am aware and excited that the time will be coming when his mother
will put him in my arms and I will be able to feel his closeness and presence
once again!!! How thrilled I am about that event!!!
Could
that be how Almighty God feels when He knows we are coming Home to Him?
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