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In order to feel loved, in order for a child, or anyone for that matter, to have a strong and healthy self-esteem, they must sense an irrational passionate level of love from their parents, grandparents, or others significant in their lives. Love that exceeds all expectations. Love that makes the child feel treasured, not just tolerated. 

If children don't feel that type of unconditional, almost irrational sense of love from their parents or significant people in their lives, there's always this uneasy sense of absence, this poor emptiness in their lives that causes confusion. Do we show our children, and those important to us, that kind of love in daily, small ways, countless little ways, that that is how we love them? 

Are we creating lasting, vivid, memory tapes, in the minds of those we love, that they can play later in life, as reminders of how much we think about them, of how much we love them? Memories that linger within the recesses of their minds of how very special they are to you, how loved they are by you?

Over the course of a lifetime are we making headway with consistent examples of acceptance and love that they can and are understanding? Are we writing letters or journals that they can keep and read, individually, personally, privately, over and over through their lives, letting them know how unique and special they are to us?

Each child is different and they have their own way of understanding or seeing your love. What works with one child does not always get through in the same way to another. Is each child or person seeing your attempts of showing your love in a way that is tangible to them, that they personally can understand?  Do we say those words often enough? And then do we back those words up with practical, consistent ways of showing them?  

Do we tell them that we believe in them?  Do we show them that love in ways they understand, that we know they can finish the course that is set out for them?  We need to express confidence in their character.

In the Bible, God said to Peter that He believed in him even though he wasn't at that time the way he should be.  We have to show infinite belief in our children, or loved ones, and who they are. "You will come through!  You can make it. I love you, I believe in you, I'm proud of you!"

Every child seeks the approval from their parents, especially their Dad. For many of our children there is no father around to take their part. But we do have a Heavenly Father, a Spiritual Daddy, that we can seek out, and look to for help, in the absence of their own birth fathers. Pray, trust God, and ask for some committed father figure within your church, youth group, or other organization, to help fill in where possible. 

We can ALL give these things, these gifts, to others!  Grandparents, friends, family members, etc.  Encourage them!  Uplift and affirm them! "I BELIEVE IN YOU."  We can say, "I'M SORRY" when the need arises to do so, and it will. Our children know we are human, or at least they should! Allow them to. It's amazing to me, how accepting our children are of our shortcomings, when we try to do our best to fulfill our responsibilities as a parent, and they are aware that we have done all we can within our power to be a good parent, and a caring person.

When you think of Valentines Day this month, look around you and investigate what you can do to make this special time meaningful to your children, your loved ones, in a way that they can understand. With a small child it maybe going to the park on an otherwise busy afternoon. Possibly gathering together friends of your preteens and going for pizza and a particular movie of their choosing, like the redo of the new Star Wars. It may be in going over to an elderly parents home and doing a deep cleaning if needed. You could pick up a shut in and go out for a drive or a walk around the lake at the community park.  

There are so many creative things that we each can do to show those around us how very Special they are to us and how much we love them!!! Put your mind to it, give it some thought, and have the greatest Valentines month you have had in your life!!