How is it possible to be on one of the most beautiful islands in the world and feel lonely? I don't know, but I do. My Daughter-in-law is over-ripe in her expected delivery of my second grandchild, a girl, and I am sitting here under some kind of beautiful tree over-looking a delicately flowered and botanically lush manicured lake, while having my devotions in Jeremiah, along with a cup of coffee. I'm having a very difficult time this particular morning, keeping my mind on The Word, as it wonders off to my youngest son and his family, and the arrival that I am missing out on. The due date was January 5th and here it is January 17th in Thailand, and the 16th in the States, and she is not here yet.

"Please forgive me Lord! I know that "You" should be enough! Your love letter to me and this gorgeous island I am so blessed to be on, should be all that I need! But this morning in particular, I feel alone and separated from my family. I feel lonely!" 

This island is known as one of the most beautiful and sought after vacation spots in the world and I'm sitting here in the middle of it, thinking of missing one of my children's biggest events, the birth of his second child and first daughter, my second grandchild. I have never missed a major event in either of my son's lives before and I just feel like I should be
there for this too I haven't seen them in over 7 months now and I feel like I am missing out. Even in the middle of all this beauty.

For some reason, my thoughts go back to my ex-husband and the time that we spent in Hawaii together many years ago when love was high and expectations were
Heavenly. It seems like many life times ago now, and indeed it was.  I guess that these tropical
surroundings are a deep reminder of days long gone by, and of once passionate love tragically lost.

We never know when the memories of old will flood back into our minds and when the emotions that accompanied those memories will return to us.  But both wonderful memories, and tragic memories, will stay there in the recesses of our minds until something triggers the unexpected return of that memory, and it comes flooding back to saturate our psyche again with fresh emotions and feelings that we thought were long ago dead or buried. 

Sitting here surrounded by unusual trees, fragrantly scented flowers and exotic birds and fruits, has reminded me of long ago ecstasies and hopes, while at the same time plummeting my mind to feelings and events that were not so pleasing as this beautiful place is here, and the memories that it's distinguishing features brings to my mind, makes me feel even more alone and out of place.

I am well aware that experiences that create both pleasure and pain can be blended together, from the past, as well as the present, to help facilitate our thoughts for growing and learning in order to make new plans and renewed commitments for our continued and bright futures.  I love listening to inspiring tapes and reading personal motivational books. My heart lives for encouraging others and helping them to grow and learn, knowing full well that, "God doesn't waste anything!"  But for right NOW, today, I'm sitting here in this incredible place, alone, and I feel lonely. I am not discouraged or depressed, just lonely. 

"Lord, I know that you have experienced this feeling and that you understand. I also know that you promised that you would never leave us nor forsake us.  I sit here now, asking you to fulfill your promise of fellowship and provisions, as I miss my family so terribly.  Nothing "big" just some "small" reminder of your presence in my life will do.  I deeply appreciate your "Call" to come to China and teach my students Business English Writing. I'm thankful for the opportunity to have this vacation time away from the cold, and to relax in such a beautifully warm place, but I am lonely on THIS day. I ask you to comfort me on THIS day, with a small reminder of your presence. Thank you Lord, in advance, for what I know you will do!"
 

	Immediately following this pleading, while reading from Jeremiah 44, and using my Grandson Toby's laminated picture,this incredibly cute, and at the same time, very strange little creature, popped up over the edge of my Bible and was proudly marching across Jeremiah 46: 3,and 4, and then he  advanced on, as if into battle with a steady even gait, that kept time with my surprised continuous laughter.
As he proceeded to walk over to the other page in an almost purposeful and determined manner, I had to wonder if this amazing little creature was indeed brought up from the bowels of the earth underneath me, to be that answer to prayer for a "small" reminder that I am NOT alone, and that God does provide the fulfillment of His promises in the most unique and strange ways.  Sometimes even using His own created creatures, both great and "small."  Then, as if he was done with his business or duty, this unique little guy marched right on off and away, over the side of my Bible, and he was gone again.
	It was as if he was a soldier who was prepared with his helmet and shields and who had conquered the foe and lived to tell about it. Almost as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone again, back to unknown places and other responsibilities, but not before I was able to get some pictures with the camera that I had taken along with me that morning.

As my laughter subsided, so had my loneliness, and I walked back into the hotel and checked my e-mail to find out that my Grand-daughter Talitha had had her own adventures of marching into a new world of surprise and excitement, and she was now a part of this world of wonder, where both blessings and pain can, and do, coexist together, to teach us that we have a God who loves us and who is longing to walk with us through this life, with it's blessings as well as it's tragedies.